A Description of a Picture
As I stood in front of the old house I used to live in,
it reminded me of a spooky story.
As I walked up to the front door. I could hear the
crumbling of the stones underneath my feet. I walked up the steps up to the
door. I rang the doorbell but there was no answer. I looked through one of the
cracked windows I was shaking all over. Suddenly I heard a creaking sound. I
looked at the front door it had been opened. I went inside I saw a black cat
and a broom.
Now I was terrified. I heard a chuckle, it sounded
like a witch. I opened a door in the passageway and saw a witch. It looked at
me right in the eyes. I wanted to scream and run away but I couldn’t. I was
frozen. I was as stiff as concrete.
The witch was making a potion. Now I was horrified. I
was about to call out for help when I heard an “Oooohhh!”
It was coming
from behind me then I felt something touch me.
I vanished... I was never to be seen again.
By Isabella
Amazing writing. I felt scared reading it. Lots of suspense. I've been asked to do 2 stars and a wish so here goes. I wish the story wasn't so scary, I was frightened!
ReplyDeleteGreat story Isabella, very scary. I hope it doesn't keep me awake tonight.
ReplyDelete- Dad.
The little girl in the story heard an "Oooohhh!". I wish you could hear my "Wow" in amazement! What an entertaining and beautifully written story! Well done Bella! Auntie Deborah xo
ReplyDeleteI love how you made everyone scaredy but... I wish that you e longer story.
ReplyDeleteI like how it is spooky and you ues adjicives and i wish you would make it more spooky.
ReplyDeletei love how you make me feel spooky but...i do wish that you wound not make it toooo spooky
ReplyDeleteI like how you use speck macks but I wish ... you ues more pargraphs.
ReplyDeleteIsabella the ending was great the seconed paragrah was fabulous but I wish you rot more.
ReplyDeleteThat was a really cool and scary story Isabella.I liked how you used paragraps. I also liked how the witch was making a potion. But I wish you would write more. :):):)
ReplyDeleteI like how you had some adjictives and some spooky sounds
ReplyDeleteIsabella I like how you make it scery and i wish you would make it a little bigger
ReplyDeleteI Love how you made it scery I hope you make it even sceryer.
ReplyDeleteI like the scary and I thought it was great story. But I will like you to talk more aboat you.
ReplyDeletethat was horafied isabella well done you awesome
ReplyDeletea wonmderful Horafieding story Isabella I was terrified when you write I vanished...I was never to be seen again.
ReplyDeleteGreat story ISABELLA WOW AWESOME
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for your comments on my story. I enjoyed writing it. I have learned through the comments that I am good at paragraphing and using adjectives but next time I need to write a longer story.
ReplyDeleteWow Isabella, what a mature response to your critique!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing story, Isabella! I loved the suspense and the unexpected ending. A longer story would be great.
ReplyDeleteThat was amazing ISABELLA WOW
ReplyDelete